


Not today

by StoriesbyNessie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, The Burrow (Harry Potter), Worry, ron is gay, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24945346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoriesbyNessie/pseuds/StoriesbyNessie
Summary: He might be a Gryffindor, but Ron's not so sure he can do this.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	Not today

**Not Today**

“I-I’m gay.”

As soon as the words left his lips, there was no taking it back even if he had wanted to.

The silence that followed after hung like a heavy cloud over them. Nobody dared to say anything, they only stared at him, and Ron didn’t need to know Legilimency to know what they all were thinking.

“I— well, I… It means I’m… I like…” Ron floundered, Merlin, was it just him or was the sitting room at the Burrow getting warmer? He couldn’t breathe, sweat stuck to his temples.

“… Boys,” he continued, desperately licking his dry lips and it didn’t matter that he was taller than average— he felt so small under his family’s gaze.

_Boys, by the way?_ Couldn’t he have thought of a better word?

Ron wished they all would say something, anything to break the silence. His mum, dad, Ginny at least. Or Charlie maybe… Anyone. He didn’t care.

_As long as it doesn’t stay so bloody quiet._

The Weasleys’ expressions revealed nothing: neither anger, disapproval or disappointment came over them, so Ron tried to tell himself that was good news, but they didn’t look happy either. They didn’t look like they wanted to support him.

His heart pounded hard in his chest. Only a couple of seconds had passed since the big reveal; since he told his entire family the deepest, darkest secret he had, but it felt as though three lifetimes had gone by. Ron was so stressed and wished he hadn’t chosen the Sunday family lunch to deliver the news.

_Please say something,_ he thought anxiously. _Please… This was really hard to say. Or do you all hate me so much that you’re unable to speak?_

Sure felt that way.

And then Ron blinked, and just like that, he was back in front of the mirror in his bathroom again, safe. His hands gripped the edges of the sink tightly, and he’d been leaning over it with his forehead pressed against the reflecting surface. Now, Ron looked at himself and saw frightened blue eyes and thought that this was scarier than facing any spider or even Voldemort. He couldn’t do it. For all his Gryffindor-bravery, coming out as gay, no he couldn’t do it.

Not today.

_Maybe not ever,_ he thought sadly as he felt the familiar lump in his throat grow so much it hurt.

Maybe not ever.


End file.
